Various Stages of Faith theories have been helpful for me in getting through difficult and desolate places in my journey. Knowing I wasn’t completely lost in my valleys gave me hope for healing in the future as I continued along faith’s path.

Ultimately, I felt less alone. What many authors write about, I had experienced. Sure, the early stages of my walk with Jesus (some call these “stages 1 & 2,” illumination, or intuitive/mythical), are such formative years! They are marked by excitement, growth, loving community, and for me insatiable hunger for knowledge.

This hunger and growth thrust me forward into service and ministry. I was ALL.IN. Often called Stage 3 or conventional, it’s the peak of performative and productivity for the church body. For me, self-reflection, or the “inward journey” felt unnecessary… maybe even indulgent or dangerous. The focus was on doing, serving, and making an impact.

And yet… something started to shift.

when the certainty begins to fray

At some point in Stage 3, the certainty began to fray. Triggered by hardship, crisis, rupture, this shift was slow, subtle and powerful. The questions started bubbling up: Isn’t there more than this? Why do I feel so empty when I’m doing everything “right”? Why are You quiet? My brain and soul were ripe for change… not from strength, but out of desperation.

I didn’t know what to do. Community and ‘knowledge’ was no longer enough or sufficient for what felt like it was breaking inside. Was I losing my faith? The aspects that once gave life almost felt unsafe. It was disorienting.

What I didn’t know that the cracks were the very beginning of real transformation. I was in a Dark Night of the Soul, at a wall that Jesus was inviting me to break through.

If this feels familiar, you’re not alone. Read more about Faith Stages, and listed below are a few resources I’ve appreciated. My summary is based primarily on The Critical Journey.

I find a lot of companioning others in my Spiritual Direction practice is with others who are int his similar space of frayed certainty, wondering, and despair. Maybe they’re coming through a crisis (of faith, relationship, or occupation). I don’t have it all figured out, but sometime’s it’s helpful to have someone along who understands, won’t judge or explain, and is willing to listen and reflect back what they’re hearing.

If this sounds interesting to you, send me a message below or use my booking page. I’d love to be a companion along the way.

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